The Dance Primer

I’ve been to a few workshops lately. The first was a Balboa workshop taught by an acquaintance. I know Balboa pretty well, but mostly took the workshop to get a better understanding of the teacher’s style. The other workshops were my first experience with Argentine Tango. I realized several people felt etiquette rules of the dance floor did not apply to workshops. Specifically, I want to talk about giving feedback.

When it comes to feedback, one person can make you feel wonderful and empowered with a “that was great,” while someone else can make you feel terrible with the same “good job.” The difference, I think, is if the feedback is wanted or not.

For example, I didn’t like letting people know this is my first day tango dancing. It changed the way they treated me. Some asked, so I told them, but then they would act surprised when I got it right. Those “good jobs” felt condescending.

But those who didn’t ask would just focus on what was being taught. Sometimes these people would ask “how does that feel?” I can answer then, and ask their opinion too. Then, it would feel like an equal partnership. I don’t have to know how long you’ve danced. We can focus on the task at hand. Sometimes I work better when left to my own thoughts.

During the Balboa workshop, where I knew what I was doing, it was almost funny how the people being bossy or giving unsolicited feedback were usually the worst dancers in the rotation. Perhaps they were too busy analyzing me to be open to the instruction at hand.

Bottom Line: Leave correcting to the instructors, unless feedback is solicited. When you do give feedback, be careful and kind.

*Photo by Waifer X on flickr.