I was having a conversation the other night with a new dancer who will not go social dancing. He seems to understand the import of social dancing, but his fear of messing up - and having a partner there with him to suffer his mistakes - petrifies him. Someone else mentioned that girls would rather be out on the dance floor, even with someone messing up, than sitting on the sidelines. I agreed, but he didn’t believe. He thought a dance with him would be horrible…
I came up with three situations where the dance would be a terrible one:
- A partner that hurts me.
- A partner that gets fresh with me.
- A partner that ignores me (i.e. using me as an accessory to aid his showing off).
Other than that, I’d rather be dancing. Well, what I told this fearful guy was that I’d rather dance a whole song doing nothing but basic 6-count East Coast than sitting out. He immediately took the opportunity to mention the idea of dancing an entire nine minutes to Sing, Sing, Sing strictly EC basic… which led us to a whole new topic which I won’t get into now.
How about you? What makes a dance terrible? Wouldn’t you rather be dancing?
*Photo by YanivG on flickr.
4 responses so far ↓
1 ric // Dec 19, 2007 at 1:12 pm
I stopped going to dances as a teenager when I got left standing on my own as all my friends were asked to dance…. every single song.
I’d rather dance than be left out. Thank heavens the social dance scene isn’t like high school! Much anyway.
2 Maria // Dec 20, 2007 at 9:35 pm
Depending on my mood, I would much rather be dancing! And to anyone who think you have to have your whole arsenal of moves ready to get out there, you’re wrong. I’d honestly rather dance an entire song just doing the basic if the lead is on time and trying to have fun with it. I also don’t mind it if they try new moves out on me and mess up– by all means, I love it when they keep trying and finally get it. I was a beginner once too and I remember what it’s like.
There are some nights when I’m feeling really chill and would just rather have a couple amazing dances and sit and chat the rest of the time. In that case, I may say no to dancers I’m not familiar with, but saying no once doesn’t mean I won’t dance with them next time.
3 Gidget // Feb 6, 2008 at 10:23 am
I’d totally rather be dancing! In fact, there are nights when I decide to ask all the guys sitting out to dance. Usually they look like they want to get out there, but are too scared.
A lead I danced with once told me that “if nobody gets hurt, it’s a move.” Even if you mess up or don’t know what you’re doing, it doesn’t matter, because you’re dancing, and that’s what it’s about! I’ve had leads mess up and we totally destroy the intended move, but we often end up with a cool new one!
So, new leads, get out there, dance, ask girls, you’ll be surprised!
4 Gidget // Feb 6, 2008 at 10:25 am
Oh, I thought of another situation in which the dance would be terrible.
I was just learning east coast swing, and was getting the hang of it, but still wasn’t totally comfortable with it, but was learning fast. A lead asked me to dance, and I accepted, saying that I wasn’t very good yet.
He said “I know. I could tell.” And proceeded to tell me how bad of a dancer I was the whole time.
Leads, seriously, don’t do that. If she’s clearly inexperienced at dancing, take the opportunity to teach her some new things (without being cocky about it, of course)!
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