The Dance Primer

Criticism is a huge part of our lives, and if it hasn’t been there in our dancing yet - it’s very possible it will be soon, especially if you’re serious about improving. The most public example I can think of is American Idol/SYTYCD - where those who have the confidence to audition in the first place may be experiencing criticism for the first time. Everyone reacts differently. So, not just for our dancing but also for coping with life in general, I thought it may be helpful to look into different kinds of criticism, and different ways we can react to it. First, let’s look at the critics.

Eight Types of Critics:

1. I care about you, so I want you to be perfect - This is that person who, no matter what you do, always has something to say about what you could have done better. This person usually has your best interest at heart, but may show their affection for you by pointing you toward what they see as perfection. A compliment may be hard to come by from this person. When receiving their criticism, try to remember that they’re only trying to help. We all need to realize, there may be moments of perfection, but perfection overall is an unattainable goal and those who seek it will meet disappointment.
2. I care about you, so I want you to be better - This is a milder version of the perfectionist. They may critique you often, but they will also offer compliments when you deserve them. Their criticism may be more encouraging, as they are more realistic about where you are and where you can go. Critiques from this person are often helpful, even if they are challenging.
3. I don’t want to hurt your feelings… fluff, flatter, and non-criticism - Think Paula Abdul as a judge. Doesn’t she just love everybody? Even those who are tone deaf, the worst she can do is giggle and say, “I’m sorry.” Flattery may help your ego, but in reality it won’t get you anywhere.
4. I’m a professional, and I know what I’m doing - Some instructors believe in the saying, “it’s my way, or the highway.” Or, at least that’s how they come across in their teaching. Sometimes, they are right. There are certain things that are most effectively done certain ways, and if you’re learning from a professional, it’s a good idea to learn whatever you can from them, even if it means trying something a way that may not work for you now. (You can always throw it out later, but if you’re open to try it in the first place, you really could learn something.)
5. The professional critic - Different than the professional in the field itself, this person is looking to share with the world the quality of what is presented to them, and you probably won’t encounter them unless performing in a professional show. They likely have great depth in their knowledge of the subject, so in that regard they are to be taken somewhat seriously. However, their job is also to sell words, so exaggerating the negative or positive aspects of what they see will often happen.
6. The accidental critic -This may come from a peer who let’s their opinion slip out. As hurtful or helpful as what they say may be, it is wise to recognize someone’s honest opinion as valuable and learn what you can from it - even if it is humbling and difficult.
7. I truly believe I’m better than everyone - This is the person that may offer advice to everyone, yet never seem to have a smile on their own face. You may listen to what they have to say, but judge wisely. Is this really someone you want to emulate? If so, you may want to take their advice seriously. If not, let it go.
8. I need to put others down to build myself up - This person hasn’t learned that when you push others down, you go down with them. Don’t let their criticism hurt your feelings. Instead, recognize that they probably need some self-esteem of their own.
9. The Self Critic -This critic is often the worst, and the most unfair. It focuses only on negatives and is often blind to the positives or improvements. Remind yourself to judge fairly, against your own abilities.

How do you feel about these critics? Which ones do you face most often? How do you deal with them? (Next, we’ll look at different ways people react to criticism in general.)