The Dance Primer

Well, last week you learned the success secrets of the guy everyone want to dance with. But what if you don’t want to be that guy? Lucky for you, we also know some secrets of the guy nobody wants to dance with, just in case you’d rather be him.

1. Stare at your feet. Or, if you are dancing with someone wearing a low cut blouse - simply look down…
2. Don’t apologize, or even notice, when you throw you partner directly into another moving couple.
3. Do your largest, flashiest, fanciest tricks as often as possible. If your follow doesn’t do it well, make sure everyone knows she’s the one who messed up.
4. While dancing, scan the room for girls you’d rather be dancing with.
5. Ensure your follow always does exactly what you want her to at all times. Use force when necessary. Realize it’s her fault if she gets hurt, ’cause she just not following right.
6. Teach your partners how they should be dancing. Don’t forget to be giving constant feedback.
7. Ensure everyone knows that you know you are the best dancer in the room. When sitting on the sidelines, make sure you talk about how terrible the DJ is, what a bad job the organizers are doing, and how nobody in this town is any good at dancing.
8. Be highly selective about who you’ll dance with: young hot single girls, or only the best follow in town.
9. Offer free lessons to the newest girls, to ensure some alone time with them, and then make sure they know you’re interested in more than just dancing with them.
10. Only smile if your partner is up to your high standard, which, unless she’s going out with you, nobody in this town really is.